Most ministry training prepares you for the front yard of ministry. The problem is that most of ministry happens in back alleys. Certainly the front yard matters, but some things just have to be learned through experience. That’s why I have devoted a lot of my energy to apprenticeships where the puddles and dark corners of back alleys become textbooks and whiteboards. As I recently reflected on nearly a decade of very diverse ministry opportunities these five lessons are the playlist on repeat.
Get used to disappointing other people
Henri Nouwen likens the ministry direction to a downward mobility to the cross instead of an upward mobility that our world affirms. Perhaps the hardest part of this downward journey is disappointing other people. If you are looking for full consensus on your decisions spiritual leadership is going to hurt. Don’t look for buy-in on decisions you’re about to make, ask for permission to make the best decision you can. Being a spiritual leader is hard any way you shake it. Christian leaders need to get used to disappointing people. People feel hurt when I don’t pick up my phone on my day off, but I am committed to sabbath and giving myself to my family on Fridays.
Move from “me” to “we”
As hard as it was I had to resolve to bringing my pet projects from my ministry area of ministry to table. Things tended to end better when we went into important meetings as a unified team, asking for things together. I felt protection. I felt partnership. My new role was to come in representing the whole team and what the team is passionate about…even when it’s boring to me. Most right decisions aren’t passionate decisions. When healthy teams are emerging you will find yourselves saying, “We believe this is the wisest decision.”
Vision without process frustrates but vision + process inspires
I don’t need to make every plan, but I need to get the right people together to make it. Max DePree says, “The first task of a leader is to define reality.” I remember the day I admitted to my team that an area of our church was broken. We all knew it, but by acknowledging this we all felt a weight drop off our shoulders. Things aren’t perfect now, but we have rebuilt that area, and we are seeing results.
Poverty doesn’t motivate people, vision does
People are drawn to passion and vision, not poverty. I used to moan about what resources we didn’t have, and I wondered why no one would give us the extra resources we needed. “Don’t they hear the need?” I would wonder. I learned to share vision and ask with gusto. People started to step up to fill needs. It also drove me to figure out low dollar solutions to what I thought were high dollar problems. Most things I lead through Frontline Church Planting could never become a reality without partnership. I learned to become a storyteller, sharing how God is at work and inviting others into the story.
Leaders need to be unleashed
Leaders need to lead. Period. There was a day I was the leader at the bottom rung who felt stifled. When I looked around I saw that same thing in other young leaders. Perhaps you feel stifled right now. True leaders need to be given more leash, more voice and more opportunities. I wanted to win basketball games in high school, but I also wanted to take the last shot…even if I missed. The church needs leaders who humbly and appropriately want to take the last shot. You can either give leaders a leash and let them make a few mistakes along the way or watch them take their talent somewhere else.