“Raise your hand if you feel like an exile in this city?” I bet I could ask this in most places and have several hands shoot up. I can bet there are always more who feel strangers, outcasts and wanderers in their cities than will ever admit it.
The words of Jeremiah 29 are often quoted in dark moments when longing for a bright future. But this is more than encouraging verse for students in a graduation card. The prophet Jeremiah pens these words to a dejected and exiled Judah. Nebuchadnezzar had exiled them to Babylon. This wasn’t exactly their dream. I can imagine how abandoned and pushed aside they felt. The words of this passage are surprising and have much to teach us.
Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare. (Jeremiah 29:4-8, ESV)
The first time I read Jeremiah 29 through the lens of my city I was blown away. I felt like an exile: I hadn’t taken the time to cultivate spiritual gardens. I thought my city wasn’t ripe enough for the kind of ministry I was called to. I poked fun at my city as I believed it wasn’t cultured enough to enjoy living in. I was not praying for God’s work in my city; I was busy wishing I could be somewhere else. I wasn’t working for its welfare; I was making a list of all the reasons I should leave.
Praying over neighborhoods and new sections of my city has helped to move me from a posture of exile to a posture of cultivation. I started going on prayer walks with leaders from different sectors of our city. I let church planters and community leaders become my guide; they showed me the physical geography and helped me understand what realities to pray for. As we walked and prayed, I came to understand God’s invitation to partner with Him in the renewing of our places.
My wife and I are committed to raising our family in the heart of the good, bad, and ugly of our city. This isn’t always easy, as we push through our disappointment and feelings of wanting to be somewhere else. Each week seems to be a recalibration of the risk of staying present and engaged. It’s about fighting the impulse to disengage and simply staying committed to keep showing up and loving people. It’s about fighting the impulse to dream of how life would be better where the grass seems greener, safer or more cultured. I explore this topic in more depth in my book Staying is the new Going; Choosing to love where God places you.
What should you do if you feel like an exile in your place?
Have a conversation with a friend. Start by acknowledging what doesn’t feel right and what is disappointing to you. This in itself can be helpful. Often our expectations are unrealistic. Perhaps you are comparing your place to another pin on a map or an image of a place you saw in a magazine.
Think through the unique possibilities in your city. Every place is unique, bearing its’ own opportunities. Take time to think through both the possibilities for the growth of the common good in your city and the gospel possibilities you see. For good or for ill, we find what we’re looking for.
Pray for your city. The heart behind cities is not the city itself but the people. Prayer changes us. When we pray for people our hearts change. Acknowledge the cracks in your place and those affected by those cracks and pray for them. Experiment with walking the ground and praying at ground level.