Pastors, you are wrong. No one will call you on these things, because they won’t see them. In fact you might not even see them, but they shape your days, weeks, vacations, fearful nights and view of success. I love you, but you are wrong.
You are more broken than you think. Pastoring has taken its toll on you more than you think. You struggle with bad motives just as much as anyone else. Henri Nowen describes spiritual leaders as “broken healers.” Jesus’ Church needs more broken healers who acknowledge the cracks in their stories and offer them as a gift to others. Take whatever measures needed to make space for the light of Jesus to invade your leadership, preaching, discipleship and counseling.
You are not as innovative as you think. I bet you’ve had a few good ideas. I can also bet you have been given credit for plenty of things you learned from someone else. True innovation is rare. It’s okay if you never implement one single unique idea. Our culture worships the brilliance of innovators. Don’t beat yourself up, because you don’t seem as innovative, witty or tweet-able as the image of the pastor you’ve created in your head. Also, please show integrity and give credit where credit is due.
Your family needs you more than you think. No matter what demands you feel in ministry right now your family needs you more. I promise. Your little kids won’t understand why they rarely see you or why you always come home from work frustrated. Your wife still wants to be home when your promised. Your family wants you to look into their eyes, not to sit next to them answering emails. No one will pat you on the back for canceling that meeting so you can relieve your exhausted wife or showing up at your daughter’s third grade play.
You are more needy than you think. If you don’t find friends who love you as a human being you will be lonely. If you deny exercise to cram in more work your body will eventually force you to take a break. You need vacations to focus on enjoying life and focusing on being a person, a husband and a dad like everyone else does on their vacations. You need date nights even when you can’t afford them. You need your sabbath every week even though you like your job more than most people do. You need to disengage from technology sometimes and ditch the pressure to respond to people that day. You have needs, and you shouldn’t feel bad about meeting them.
You are closer to burnout than you think. You have no idea how tired, stressed and volatile you are. Satan absolutely hates what you’re doing and wants you out of ministry. You are one decision away from hurting a lot of people. When you hear the story of the pastor disappointing a lot of people and putting his family through a lot of pain don’t point the finger. Humbly examine yourself. You still need to pray. You still need to read passages in the Bible you’ll never preach. Spend time focusing on the ministry of Jesus instead of obsessing about the ministry of “successful” pastors.
You are more loved than you think. No matter how much theological training you have you still have no idea how much God loves you. God doesn’t love the future you with the bigger church and sharper sermons; He loves YOU. God isn’t impressed or surprised by your ministry, but He loves you enough to let you co-minister with Him. He wants you to experience the same joy you preached about on Sunday and the same freedom you cheered for when you baptized that addict last month. Your congregation loves you way more than you think, too. The squeaky wheels in your church are just a few folks who don’t understand grace yet. Tons of others admire you deeply and understand God more because of you. Your kids can’t wait to spend more time with you even if they don’t run to the door when you get home. Your wife adores you and believes in you. Before you are a pastor you are God’s kid.
In case you’re wondering, I’m a pastor too. I struggle to believe all these things every week. I hope you’ll choose to admit your thinking is totally jacked up just like mine. Pastors, we need the same Jesus we preach about.