One of the most formative times in my life occurred this May. I was invited to spend a few days with Eugene and Jan Peterson at their home on Flathead Lake. My publisher, NavPress, brought three of us out for this field trip for the soul.

I have long admired Eugene. He still invests in young leaders today, some who are friends of mine. He took pastoring so seriously, and he still does, yet he takes himself so lightly. The Message paraphrase of the Bible has poetically unlocked scripture for thousands of people. He planted and pastored a church for 29 years as he watched his ministry buddies in the area all move away. He has been an accidental mentor to me, yet I had never met him face-to-face.

It’s strange to meet someone you have admired for a long time. I know Eugene and Jan’s story from reading his books even better than I know the stories of some of my friends. I was excited to sit with them, learn and ask questions. I had one twinge of fear; “What if I’m disappointed? What if he isn’t what I had imagined?” 

Here are my observations from a few days with this couple.

They are, indeed, the real deal. How many people do you know who have done church ministry well for years and still love the church and still hug Jesus tightly? They are honest about the hard seasons, the loneliness and the struggle and grateful for the good seasons. They are exactly who I hoped they would be.

They are joyful. They laugh and smile and play a lot. They enjoy living on a lake, and their property has fire pits, kayaks and beautiful flowers. Their house is papered with pictures of people who have visited them- old friends and new friends like us. I’ve heard it said that in old age people often lose their joy, only remembering what they’ve lost. They have not lost their joy.

They are present. They are locked into us and curious about our lives and stories. They are listening carefully and patiently. Jan’s hospitality and hugs make you feel like a million bucks. They welcomed us, and they pastored us.

A few questions I’ve always wanted to ask Eugene

What are the biggest dangers in ministry today? “Competitiveness. Focusing on size. Media.” 

If you could share only one piece of advice for young pastors what would it be? “Stay at your church as long as you can, even in dark times”

A few things he said that stuck out to me

“Vision statements annoy me. It’s an abstraction until it actually happens”

“The Jews had it easy; their community was wired for sabbath. Ours ins’t”

“What you are doing today is harder than what I did” 

“There are 1,000 different ways to be a pastor. You have to find yours”

A few surprising things he told us

• He tried to get published from age 29-39 with no success.
• He was denied from Princeton three times, but late in his life spoke at their commencement.
• His manuscript for A Long Obedience in the same Direction was denied by publishers for years.
• Their current home used to be a one room cabin his father built when he was a butcher. Eugene knew he would return there some day.
• Bono visited his home just a few weeks before us. He is one of Bono’s favorite authors, but Eugene has only listened to two of U2’s songs.

What they learned during years in the trenches of the church they are still applying today. The lessons they talk about from the joys and the “badlands of ministry” are part of them. Eugene talks about moving from “fetch!” to “sit!” and from adrenaline to rest. Their home is a hub for hospitality and rest. I found myself saying, “this is who I want to be when I’m in my 80s”. It’s rare to see a lifelong example of faithfulness and even more rare to see young leaders invited into their story as learners and friends.